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My Story
Thursday's Babies has come from a personal journey. A journey that thousands of couples go through. For some, it is a short journey, for some it is great in length. The destination often differs, and the way we all get there often varies. Different methods are used, with different outcomes. And although no two journeys are identical, there are most certainly aspects of the process that we can all relate to one another with. There is a common thread. The journey I am of course talking about, is that of fertility.
My husband Julian and I started trying to conceive in February 2006, five months after we were married. After a few months of trying, with nothing to show for it, I took to my knees and began to ask God what was going on.
I felt the Holy Spirit drop into my heart that this is a battle. A battle for the next generation of children to rise up and take their place. Genesis 3:15 is God talking to the serpent who has tempted and deceived Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, into eating of the fruit of the tree that the Lord forbade them to eat from. The Lord says, "And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heal." The enemy is not as keen as God is to see our children born
Another couple of months passed, and we got pregnant, only to lose our baby at five weeks. As discouraging as this was, I still held on to hope, although I did start to suspect that all was not as it should be.
In November of that year, we visited a fertility specialist. She prescribed a fertility drug and sent us on our way. We were so thrilled to find out a few weeks later, that we were pregnant. But again, sadly, this baby didn't make it past five weeks either.
Our specialist took a battery of tests for recurrent miscarriage and we took another round of the drugs. In early January 2007, we discovered there was a chromosomal abnormality, that the doctors say can increase the chance of miscarriage. Five days later, we found out that I was pregnant again.
As you can imagine, it was a very difficult time. We had blood tests every few days, but the results were never entirely conclusive. In fact, the day that my HcGs (the hormone in a woman's body that greatly increase once they are pregnant) dropped, we had an ultrasound and saw a fetal heartbeat! Everything felt out of control and topsy turvy. Sadly, my HcGs continued to drop and at ten weeks I miscarried for the third time within a year.
The heartache of losing a baby, or of trying and trying to conceive, is very difficult to explain to someone who has never been through it. It is a subject that is not often spoken of, and there seems to be an abnormal amount of unwarranted shame around it.
At the time of the third miscarriage, I felt the Lord say to me, "I will redeem this." How amazing that we have a God who can bring good out of anything. I felt lead to read the story of Joseph and his reconciliation with his brothers. My heart leapt as he said to them, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." (Genesis 50:20)
And that was the place where Thursday's Babies grew from; from deep within the battle. It was at that time that God put a vision in my heart for this ministry. As I spoke with other women who had also been battling fertility issues, I saw such a need for this to be brought out into the open. It affects so many families, and the heartache is very real. I long to see couples empowered within the Word of God, encouraged and strengthened and comforted by Christ the Redeemer and healed both physically and in the heart.
I started Thursday's Babies in August of 2007. In October of that year, we found out I was pregnant yet again. I felt sure that this was it. The home pregnancy test was positive. I drove to my husband's work to share the good news with him. We were both elated. So it was with extreme sadness and confusion that I found myself a week later staring at a second pregnancy stick, showing that again, we were going to lose a baby early it was now negative. As I stood weeping in the bathroom, clearer than ever before, I felt the Lord very close.
A few more months passed, and my faith, somewhat battered, felt low. My heart ached. The hormonal reaction from the fertility drugs caused unpleasant emotional reactions namely a very short temper! I felt exhausted in every way physically, spiritually, emotionally. About a year earlier, my husband and I had booked to attend a conference overseas. If we hadn't had plane tickets booked, I would've passed on going. Everything felt futile. I knew in my head that God could do a miracle. But my heart had so many questions and I wondered where He was in my pain. I am so grateful we attended that conference, because in the line up of speakers was Louie Giglio. And as He preached on God's incredible love for us, I knew that out of those thousands of women there, God had ensured that I was present. And my heart, so needy of the message of hope and unconditional love that was preached that day, began a healing process. Two weeks later, we got a positive pregnancy test. Our precious daughter was born in December 2008. She is a miracle in our lives. A complete blessing from God.
I am grateful that this ministry was started at a time when we were in the midst of the journey. I am grateful for the amazing letters I have had from women sharing their good news of pregnancies. I am grateful that we have been able to have the honour of praying for and grieving with those whose pregnancies were not successful. I am grateful that we continue to stand in faith for those believing for children. I am grateful that we have a huge God who cares so intimately and deeply for each and every one of us.
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